As corporate trainers and coaches we are often helping people see things from alternative perspectives. Strengthening the behavioural skills of managers and leaders requires greater self-awareness, a shift in mindset and some clever skill building.
Business pressures lead to high levels of emotion for individuals and teams. We work on many levels to reduce this for maximum effectiveness. Simon Phillips – a Space2BE consultant and Mastering Time expert shares some of the tricks of his trade to help us consider that “pointing the finger” might not be the best solution.
“We do an exercise in our Mastering Time programme called ‘Point the Finger’ in which each delegate has to think of a problem or challenge they faced recently that was caused by another person. Typical examples include items such as; “The train was delayed and that spoiled the evening” or “My partner burned the roast chicken and ruined Sunday Lunch.” To illustrate their frustration / disappointment / anger they have to point the finger of blame at their fellow delegates as if they were the cause of the problem and explain the issue. At which juncture, the blaming individual is asked to be quiet, whilst their colleagues identify one of four options:
How the problem may have been caused by the blaming individual
How the problem could have been avoided
How the problem could have been alleviated or
How maybe, just maybe, no one was to blame.
All four options require the individual to consider a reframe of their issue and an acceptance that their perspective on the incident in question is not necessarily the only “truth”. It is merely the only version of the truth that their brain has been willing to accept, up until that point. We used to say that the purpose of the exercise was to highlight how, with just a little bit of thought, we can all accept more responsibility for what happens to us in our lives. However, more recently, I have been adding another perspective; namely, the time we spend blaming others for what happens in our lives deprives us of the opportunity to get on with living. In his wonderful book, “The Breakthrough Experience”, Dr John De Martini explains that by far the most effective response to what happens around us, or even to us, in our lives is to remain generally neutral. By not reacting to life’s inevitable highs and lows and instead recognising the negative aspects of success or the positive opportunities in a supposed failure, can help us keep moving forward and not get distracted. This recognition of the duality of all life is not an easy concept to grasp but the outcome for the brain can be quite liberating!”
If we are looking for win / win outcomes considering business challenges and life itself from numerous angles can only serve us well.
Here are a few self-diagnostic questions to help you think about your own team and the leadership styles present within it:
| Self – Diagnostic Questions | |
|---|---|
| 1 | When something goes wrong what is the normal reaction from you / your team / your manager? |
| 2 | How do team members proactively support each other and collaborate for mutual goals? |
| 3 | How many times a day do you (perhaps without actually ‘saying’ anything) point the finger at someone else? |
| 4 | What is it about your culture that encourages these behaviours? |
If you’d like to read more about Simon or our other consultants who work every week in organisations raising the performance of individuals, teams and organizations please visit our team page: https://www.space2be.co/team/
Alternatively feel free to explore our range of leadership and team products: https://www.space2be.co/products/
